Maximum Density

I am at that weight that I get to where I know I have to reign it in or I will tip two hundy and the only time I have ever tipped two hundy was with my two pregnancies and that was just barely tipping the two hundy mark with enormous babies. Therefore, tipping that mark without being pregnant is, well, disgusting. For some reason, I have allowed myself to get to 187.8 pounds but two hundy is just unacceptable. In the words of Chris Rock, I have to stop being such a "low expectation havin' muthaf&^%^!"

When not pregnant, I have never been bigger than a size 14/16. I have never worn an 18 or higher. I have never shopped plus size. However, I don't like the way that I look or feel in a size 14 or 16. In pictures, I have a hideous turkey neck (and for an animated person like me a turkey neck is VERY unattractive) an enormous stomach (nicknamed the ruby ridge) and thighs that rub together so badly they could start a fire. Once I am a steady size 12 I usually feel much better and look ok, but my personal sweet spot is a size 10 which is about 155 pounds. I am 5' 7" and 155 sure sounds like a lot but that is what I weighed for my wedding and honeymoon and I feel like I looked ok and was able to buy cute clothes and feel comfortable. That is the maximum weight for my height on the BMI scale but that is my goal. If I could get myself to stay 155 and below the rest of my life I would be a happy woman.

Here's my goal: I want to be a 155 pound MILF by the time I turn 40 on September 13, 2013.

I was at my current weight for a while before I got married and then I lost about 30 lbs before my wedding in a family weight loss competition called the "pre-nup pump up". I know how to do all this I just need to do it.

I am not eating too much because I had a bad childhood or because I have low self esteem, I am just a glutton. I love food. In the words of Frank the Tank "It tastes so god when it hits your lips". In fact, I have a pretty healthy diet. The things I eat are high quality and "super foods" etc, but I eat way too much of them. I know my metabolism and I have to watch every morsel that goes into my mouth if I want to lose weight.

I have always worked out either through sports on group exercise classes or running. I like to work out, I am usually quite fit even when tubby. "Wow Shamoo can run like the wind!" Working out is not my problem except now I have a knee injury.

I lost 12 lbs earlier this year and then injured my knee, got depressed about the injury and lost momentum and put the weight back on and it sucks. I am now in physical therapy for my knee which gives me hope of getting back into my workouts. Until my knee is back, I have to eat even less because I can't burn as many calories as I would like. Such is life.

I would much rather run eight miles a day and eat what I want than count every calorie... but I am not running 8 miles a day... I can't even run period.

So here goes, I am going to expose myself like the Biggest Loser. I have NEVER done this before. Here are some pics of me today at 187.8 lbs. You might want to wear sunglasses. This is really dicey:

Jealous aren't you. Yes, I am a raging apple. The first 2 pics do a nice job of illustrating the turkey neck as well. Feminine is not what comes to mind when I see these pics but certainly not MILF. Here's hoping I change all that!